Whenever I hate science,
I think about the other dream careers/majors that I could have pursued. One of them would be art and design, but there was always someone more creative and talented than me in every school that I gave up that passion. Same goes for piano, singing, and writing. I learned a lot from those better than me on how to tap into creativity by experiencing more and practicing more, but those passions would never earn me the lifestyle I wanted. So I killed those dreams for the sciences – the field that everyone wants to get into if they want a steady life nowadays. That, or accounting and pre-law. Everything else is unstable.
That is why I’ve dropped everything related to work and school and spent the last few days going out with my friend. I went to an art museum, the beach, a mall, and I envied every single person who I assumed isn’t a science major: the guy making pizza, the artsy looking girl working retail. I wanted to be them so bad. I wanted to handle beautiful clothes all day, making customers feel beautiful and welcomes, and then go home and write an essay for my English, Fashion Design, or Architecture major.
I have a good eye, and I’m not afraid of the grudge work that comes with creative careers. The grudge work in creative careers are already part of the creative process. They don’t have that much room for creativity in science – maybe just room for instinct, which I don’t have.
My dream job would be this: one that has room for creativity, my personal input, clear purpose, enough pay to rent out an apartment somewhere on the edges of LA and pay the gas, and interaction with different people every day. I can’t that out of a university research job or some plain old office job, so I’m looking and searching for something I can do with my Neuroscience degree that satisfies my requirements for my dream job. I’ll give myself next week to figure it out.
Also, I still hate my school.