Today for the first time,
I drove myself to my therapy session, and it was also my last therapy session. My mom would drive me to all my previous sessions, and I would just sit passively and watch the highway road marks repeat themselves. Now that I am literally in the driver’s seat of my life, I never want to be a passenger again and passively watch time zoom by without anticipating a destination. I also never felt so grown up as I drove my car in the midst of other grownups driving at 65 to 70 mph. Another reason for feeling grown up on long highway drives is I get to listen to oldies that no one else enjoys in the isolation of my car.
I’m posting about driving again, because I really enjoy “buffer” moments. These include waiting for a table at crowded restaurant with an intense conversation, lying awake in bed before my alarm rings, or driving half an hour to get home. Even though I try to be constantly on-the-go to keep myself feeling alive, sometimes I enjoy my “buffer” moments so much that I end up blankly listening to my music app in my parked car. The key thing about “buffer” moments is that they don’t make me feel guilty. Unlike browsing the internet or getting hooked on Tumblr, YouTube, or Pinterest, I feel like I’m actually going somewhere or obtaining an end goal during “buffer” moments, so instead of being both indulgent and unproductive, I’m just being indulgent.
I’m sorry I skipped a day, and that this whole “a post a day” thing is out of sync again. However, I think if I didn’t take a break yesterday, I would have taken it today, and today is the better day. Speaking of yesterday, I drove a 15 minute trip to a research meeting, and trip to therapy today took half an hour. I’m gaining my highway endurance little by little, and hopefully, I can drive my friend and me on an hour long trip to Los Angeles next week. With me luck!