… for research opportunities! *Scream of frustration*

I’m currently looking at all the research opportunities for lab work that UCI has to offer, and I’m not completely frustrated, I’m just very very wary. I’m searching here and there at the same time for opportunities in China and considering research at an out of state university. But really, really I don’t want to leave California or Irvine, because I want to spend my summer in a city I’m comfortable in. I’ve been in Northampton, I’ve been to Boston, and I learned that I have the need to be where there is family, friends, and cars. Yes, I said it. Cars. I thought I’d hate cars and driving, but I learned to really appreciate the freedom of being able to go wherever I want like an adult. I can’t do that in Boston or New York City. I’d have to take public transportation, and from my experience with small-town transportation, public transportation isn’t very comfortable. It makes me anxious. 

I know I’ll do a good job if chosen for the research position, because I have the time to put in my full effort. But SURF is hard to get into at so many other institutions that I feel like I’m going in blind. I think this is real life, because I’ll never know whether if I’ll get a job I want regardless of how qualified I think I am. I feel qualified. I’m sure everyone who applies feels qualified, but who is actually qualified? Even in college admissions, I never had a clear idea, so I never risked considering any college I don’t feel confident that I have at least an 80% advantage in being admitted. 

Well, deep breath. Here goes nothing! 🙂


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